I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
sex in a hospital.. check
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
