Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
