He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
