He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
