He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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