I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
