im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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