No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
