dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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