you win again, gameday.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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