I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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