I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
