in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
