That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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