Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
