my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
