Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
