In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
