So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Operation Purity has been aborted
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
