just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
