she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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