Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
