you mean i was at the winter classic?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
