Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
