doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
