So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sobbing to NWA
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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