Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
