You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
