Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
