My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
