I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
