So drunk its hurt
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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