I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
