Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
