I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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