yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
