well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
