Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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