I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
