Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So vagazzling was a success
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
