Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
