my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
