i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
