party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
