pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
