I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
