Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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