He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
