One girl and one boy is just not enough.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
