i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
